Daisy Lodge - Rest and relaxation at the foot of the Mournes.

When this year started, one of the things I was looking forward to the most was our first family holiday away. We were to fly to Spain and spend ten days together splashing in the pool with Maisie, eating all the ice cream we could manage, soaking up quality time and creating life long memories. But that wasn't meant to be. Maisie's diagnosis meant that we had to cancel the holiday and put our entire focus on getting her better. No matter how much we felt like we all needed a little break or a few days away, especially for Maisie's' sake, we had to come to peace with the idea that it just wasn't going to happen for us. That was until we were put in touch with The Cancer Fund for Children Charity.

The Cancer Fund for Children have a real understanding of how a cancer diagnosis has a devastating impact on the entire family. They realise that beyond the clinical treatment that is needed, there is also a family life that needs rebuilt and nurtured. So as well as offering emotional and financial support, they also offer families free therapeutic breaks away recognising the importance of spending quality time together as a family. Soon after we received the news that Maisie's treatment was going to be extended, we were invited to stay at Daisy Lodge which is The Cancer Fund for Children's' purpose built therapeutic centre based in Newcastle, Co. Down.

 

 

Our invite extended to not only myself, my husband and Maisie, but also to extended family, so we asked my in-laws to come with us because they too needed and deserved a little break. Since Maisie was born and especially since she was diagnosed my in-laws have been a source of constant and consistent support and love. They have been with us at every chemo appointment, every hospital stay and they have been there offering to look after Maisie or keep her over night to let us get some rest. And the thing is, they do this even know their hearts are also breaking. I know it hurts them to see Maisie so sick, to see her fighting against the tiredness and not being able to live the life she should be, but they love her beyond measure and would do anything to make her better. It breaks my heart that as first time grandparents they aren't having the experience they should be having, they deserve so much more. They are the most amazing parents to Keith and I and we couldn't ask for better grandparents for our little girl. I was so glad they too were able to come on this little break with us.

 

 

To be honest, as the weekend approached, as much as I was excited about having a little holiday and for Maisie to see something other than hospital walls which were becoming all too familiar, I was also a little anxious. I was worried first of all that I wasn't in the right frame of mind and I wouldn't be able to think of anything other than Maisie having to face another gruelling six months of chemotherapy. And secondly, my head was full of other concerns that this new way of life has left me with. Is it going to be clean enough? What if she gets an infection? What if someone there has a cold? What if she gets a temperature? What if she is sick over dinner? Can I take her there but wrap her in cotton wool, not let anyone near her and not let her touch anything just in case? These concerns are a million miles away from the 'have I packed enough sun cream?' that I thought I would be worrying about on what should have been our first holiday away. I hate that this is now how I think, I hate that we are no longer carefree about anything that we do, or anywhere that we go. It is a hugely restricting way of life where even the smallest and simplest of daily activities brings so much risk. 

 

Speaking to other families from the clinic who had previously been it would seem that these concerns were not only felt by me. But I was reassured that I would have nothing to worry about once I was there, that the building is designed and maintained for its purpose. And they were right.

 

 

 

When we approached the entrance to Daisy Lodge and drove down towards the building, we were instantly struck with the breath-taking views that it faces. Set at the foot of the Mourne Mountains the location is perfect for creating a relaxing and calm atmosphere, and as I took it all in I could feel my shoulders begin to drop. We were all in awe of the landscape, the grandeur of the building and the quietness that surrounded us. I started to think that this weekend was going to be exactly what we all needed at this particular stage of Maisie's journey.

 

 

 

On arrival we were shown to our room, where Maisie tried to claim the double bed, and then given a tour. As we were shown around we were hugely impressed by the design and style of the building which consists of six double en-suite family rooms, two large lounge areas which have views of the mountains, a dining room, cinema room, therapy suites, a well being centre and gym, a playroom, games room, a teenagers space and outdoor play areas. I was completely blown away and overwhelmed and all the concerns I had were beginning to fade away. I quickly realised that Daisy Lodge was most definitely a space for families such as us to feel safe in, to relax in and to feel 'normal' in.

 

Over the entire weekend the Lodge had activities lined up such as arts and crafts, team games, movie nights, family yoga, and parties. The staff put so much time and effort into arranging these activities and they are a wonderful way to keep everyone entertained as well as encouraging the children and parents to come together. We didn't part take in a few of these activities as Maisie was too young for most of it and bedtime was also early, but little Maisie was in her element outside on the swing and playing with the toys in the playroom.



 

While we were there the weather was absolutely beautiful, a rarity in Northern Ireland, so we decided to make the most of it and explore the local attractions as this part of the country was new to us. For families who wish to explore the local town Daisy Lodge can offer parking passes, vouchers for free ice cream and coffee, access to a local hotel pool and many other things. I found this to be fantastic as not only does it remove another financial pressure from families, but it also shows how the local community understand the importance of the work Daisy Lodge are doing and are offering them their support.

 

Castlewellan Forest Park is only a short drive from Daisy Lodge so we went there for a walk on Saturday afternoon and we started off by trying to navigate ourselves around the impressive maze. For anyone who hasn't been here, I would highly recommend a little visit. We all entered the maze together but soon got separated as my in-laws cheated and stuck to the outside wall until they found the exit, whereas my husband and I decided to challenge ourselves and try to find the centre point. I have to admit though that after some wrong turns and a few disagreements about directions we too cheated and jumped a few hedges to get to the centre mound. Once up there the views were unbelievable. We could see the entire park surrounding us, the mountains in the distance and my in-laws happily pushing a content little Maisie in her pram.

 

 

 

Nature always has an amazing way of calming me as I find so much beauty and peace within it, and standing on top of that mound I could feel myself starting to relax. My mind was beginning to slow and I was allowing myself to live within the moment, embracing everything that was present right then. I realised at that time, despite everything that is happening with Maisie, I have so much to be thankful for in my life. I have a strong family network, a beautiful and happy child and a husband who is always there to hold me up. The sun was shining on us, the sky was blue and we were here together as a family unit, supporting each other and helping one another through the most difficult time in all our lives. Sometimes all we need is a moment to stop, breathe and gain some perspective and this is what happened for me there.

 

From here we took a walk around the lake as it was on flat ground which was suitable for the pram. There was people all around walking, cycling, fishing, picnicking and everywhere I looked was so picturesque. It was so lovely to walk along with no rush to be anywhere and to just enjoy it and take it all in.

 

 

 

Once back at Daisy Lodge we sat down in the dining room and were served another delicious meal. Each day our breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper were made for us and the quality and variety of these meals was outstanding. A lot of the staff who work there are volunteers offering their help in their spare time and I have to say they were so friendly and accommodating. Nothing was too much trouble and the chef even made Maisie her own little meals at the time she usually eats. Its the little things like this that made this break so special. At home I usually find meal times stressful. Preparing and cooking a meal with a child who is usually looking for my undivided attention, and then spits out, throws away or refuses to eat said meal brings so much frustration. Here, all that pressure was taken away and we were amongst others who understood that a child's refusal to eat was not them being spoiled or badly behaved, but because they likely felt nauseous and not able to.

 

 

After a nights sleep, (I cant say a full nights sleep or a good nights sleep because Maisie wouldn't allow us that), we woke on Sunday morning to the views of the mountains. Out on the balcony we sat in our robes, drinking tea and listening to the song of the birds flying above us. It was the most beautiful and perfect way to start any day, but especially Fathers day. Granted it isn't how my husband had thought he would be spending his first Father's day and the reason we were here in Daisy Lodge wasn't too far from our minds, but we had to embrace the day and our circumstances for what they were. We were in a beautiful location, we were being spoilt that day with therapeutic treatments including massages and reflexology, and we were being cooked a beautiful Sunday roast. On top of that, Keith got to spend the entire day as not only a daddy but also as a son.



 

Following on from our morning of complimentary therapies we decided to go to Tollymore Forest which is right next to Daisy Lodge. Again it is a place of natural beauty and everywhere we looked there was people enjoying the sun, having fun, splashing in the water and having picnics. Days like this are so good for the soul and we all enjoyed a lovely walk around, (well most of us did, my poor father in-law got stuck pushing the pram up the hills and over all the tree roots).

 

 

 

After being so unsure of whether or not to come to Daisy Lodge, I found myself not wanting to leave on Monday morning. I knew that once we went home reality would set back in. But at the same time, having been there that weekend I had time to stop and gather myself, time to think about everything we had been through so far and I realised that as tough as it was we had gotten through it. We were further on now than when this all started and we as a family will continue to do what we need to do in the next six months to get Maisie over that finish line. The weekend had been a little escapism from everything, a little haven of peace and happy filled moments and it was just what we all needed. Maisie included. To see her smile for the most part of the weekend, engage with other people and to have our full attention with no distractions was lovely. Her little face here sums up our time at Daisy Lodge. Pure joy, so many smiles and laughs, and a time to just enjoy life.

 

 

Daisy Lodge is a very special place and somewhere I am very grateful for. I am so thankful that such places exist and that the staff who work there do so with true empathy and compassion towards their guests. Offering families this little haven is a great distraction from the devastation they are facing in their day to day lives and offers a chance to regroup as a family, to stop for a moment and to enjoy the presence of each other. Daisy Lodge is managed through the Cancer Fund For Children and it costs a lot of money to run each year. They rely almost entirely on donations and fundraising efforts so every penny they receive is very much appreciated and the money is used in a positive way for families who need a break. I urge anyone reading this to remember this charity and if the opportunity to donate towards it comes along, please, please do so.

 

Wendy.