The feeling of Christmas.

As the festive season gets on its way and peoples plans, decorations and big ideas for the Christmas period comes to light, I am reminding myself not to get caught up with trying to "keep up with the Clauses." Over the years the pressure to have personalised Christmas eve boxes, handmade advent calendars, a perfectly decorated house, and visits to the most expensive Santa's grottos is growing, and its easy to get caught up in it all. The season can bring so much stress and panic to fulfil all 'the must do's' and its easy to loose sight of what really matters.

Last year I was humbly reminded of what is truly important to me and what makes Christmas so special. And it is definitely not the neatly wrapped presents or the perfect wine and cheese board. It was this....

 

It was her little face. And more than that, it was the 'feeling' I got in the depths of my heart when I looked at her. Having her with us and being able to enjoy the run up to Christmas with a new sense of joy made everyday magical. Our days were far from the perfect Christmas scenes that appear in films (or Instagram), but everything was perfect to us and just how it was meant to be.

 

 

After enjoying the Christmas party held by the Cancer Fund for Children where she bounced to music, crawled rings around us, enjoyed the company of lots of children and got to meet the big guy himself, Maisie fell asleep in my arms. And as I rocked her back and forth listening to her little breaths and soft snores, that 'feeling' filled my entire body.

 

 

 

Days like this. Days where you just pull on everything you own for heat and mess about in your front garden, not caring if you look 'glam for the gram.' Days of playing on the ground with no worries, of touching and playing in snow for the first time. Days like this the 'feeling' of Christmas is strong, its alive.

 

 



On the 15th December, 72 hours after Maisie got 'Mr Wiggly' removed and her wound had healed, she finally got to have a bath. In front of a warm fire, while the fairy lights twinkled behind her and the bubbles foamed in the water Maisie had her first bath in 254 days, (can you tell I was counting?)  That 'feeling' overwhelmed me again as I watched her splash and smile with such happiness and innocence. I will honestly always remember that day. What a gift. What a joy. What a beautiful thing to do with your child. Bathing her on Christmas eve, putting on her little jammies with no broviac line sticking out of her chest, tucking her into bed and knowing she would wake in the morning cancer free was all the present we needed. That 'feeling' was deep within me, all around me, reminding me what Christmas really meant.

 

 

On Christmas Eve we took Maisie to Church for the first time since her baptism. Taking her there felt extremely special to us as we got to introduce her to all the people who had welcomed her into their Church family with open hearts, and had prayed so hard for her even though they had never met her. I have been completely humbled by their kindness and support for our family. During that service I shed silent tears knowing how truly blessed our lives were, how lucky we were to be there with our girl, to know that we were all together in the presence of God. The giver of life and hope. That 'feeling' again was there. That Christmas feeling of love for everyone you hold dear, of gratefulness for everything you have and complete awe for all of life's little gifts that can be so easily taken for granted.

 

 

When I think of the Christmas story I am reminded of how Jesus came into this world. The Son of God came quietly and humbly, born in a stable and born into a modest family. There was no big show, no big extravagance, and yet His birth brought such joy and peace to the world. The fact that He was born, that He was here within the world and the significance of what His life meant was enough. And that is the feeling of Christmas.

 

That what we have, a little or a lot, and who we have around us is what Christmas is about. So before we get carried away with 'the show' that this season has become, just take a moment to think about what matters to you. The children wont care if your Christmas lights and baubles came from a fancy company or they were hand me downs from family. It wont matter if they have reindeer food and magic glitter for Santa and his reindeer or if they get a carrot that you found at the back of the fridge and store bought cookies to leave out. Children bring that special magic and excitement so let go of that extra stress and pressure. And as for us, lets just remember that in years to come we wont be looking back at our Christmases wishing we had of wore fancier clothes instead of lounging in our jammies or that we should have been sipping champagne from a glass rather shloer from the bottle. We will be remembering the ones we were spending it with and of all the laughs shared, and perhaps wishing that we had of embraced all that we had right in front of us that little bit more. Because, when it comes down to it, God has already provided us with everything we need.

 

 

 With Christmas wishes and blessings of love, joy and peace for the coming festive season.

 

Wendy.